As If I Never Existed
by Unknown Caller
Summary: New Moon. Edward POV. What was going on with Edward while Bella was with werewolves? What secret could destroy his relationship? R&R, vampires are here!
1. Prolouge

Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight or any characters thereof, although that would be awesome! I'd be loaded! Anyway, so, yeah here u go!**

"You don't want me anymore?" she asked, her beautiful voice full of despair and hurt.

"No," I lied calmly. I saw the flickers of pain and melancholy in her perfect eyes. After that, I just turned away. What else could I do? I couldn't stand their and watch her break down; I loved her too much.

As she was moping silently in the dirty forest floor I felt immense guilt. But what else could I do? Jasper had almost killed her, and I had to fight temptation not to suck her blood every time I was near her. And James had come very close. He almost turned her into a vampire! That couldn't happen.

Just thinking of all the times she had almost been killed, I knew it was my fault. I should never have talked to her on that Monday over a year ago. I should have kept giving her the cold shoulder, but no! I had to be selfish and fall in love with her. What a damn fool I am! She was almost killed because of me. If I stayed, the job would surely be done. No, I couldn't let that happen. It had to be as it I never existed.

I dashed up her wall and climbed through her window, like I had done so many nights to be with her. I found her lullaby in the CD player. I took it out and put it in the case. I found the plane tickets to Jacksonville on her desk. I put this and the rest of the stuff we gave her under a loose floorboard in her room, remembering my promise: It will be as if I never existed... 


	2. Cleanin' Out The Closet

Chapter 2

Hey guys. I got some complaints that it was too short. I guess it looks longer on Word. But aside from that, my reviews for positive, so thank you. It feels awesome to be on someones Story Alert! Any way, enjoy Chapter 2.

I barged into my mansion that she had loved. I had to tell everyone, I had to. It would hurt them almost as much as it hurt me, I know. But they will understand it was for her own good, right?

I walked into the living room and saw Alice and Jasper sitting on the couch, together, in love, holding hands... Just the way are, I mean, were.

Ugh! If I was going to live without her, I couldn't keep thinking about her. That would only resurface the heart-wrenching feeling I got when I told her I didn't love her anymore, which was a complete lie.

Jasper looked at me concerned, he could feel my pain and sorrow. Alice looked at him and then a look of realization formed across her face. I knew she must have seen it last night, that's why she was avoiding me.

"What the hell," she screamed. "How could you!"

"Alice," I whispered, "I didn't have a choice, she would've died."

Jasper spoke for the first time. "What hap-- Wait, did you say _she_? She as in--."

"Bella," I answered. I was surprised by how much it hurt to even say the name.

"We're leaving. Aren't we?" Jasper asked, a worried look on his face.

"Yes," I answered. Alice had an intense look of anger on her face. I decided to listen to her thoughts.

"..._bastard! Doesn't he realize that he's hurting all of us, just not him. If he had done what he should have done and changed her we wouldn't have this problem! I loved her too, just like Esme and Carlisle and Emmet, and Jasper. It wasn't just him..." _I saw she was about to burst into tears, so I called the rest of the family in.

Once they all assembled, I cleared my throat and began to speak. " Umm... Everyone," I began , not sure how to break the news, "We have to leave."

I saw looks of surprise and confusion all around the room. Everyone except Carlisle, I guess he saw it coming. "I feel as if out rime in Forks is running out, I mean Carlisle can barely pass as thirty and he's claiming 34. Emmet, Rosalie, and Jasper are supposed to be away at college, as Alice and I will be next year. There's that, and the fact that... I... le... left..," I struggled to say the next word, "Bella."

I saw Alice and Jasper exactly as they had been before. Emmet was startled, and, I could tell, disappointed. Rosalie didn't seem to care to much. I knew she had hated Bella, but I did sense a bit of concern for me. I scanned everyones thoughts.

"_How could he let her go, _Emmet thought. _Edward, you made the right choice,_ Rosalie said apparently directly to me. _I can't say I'm too surprised after what happened, but she will be greatly missed, _Carlisle said to himself. Then as I listened to Esme, it felt like a blow to the chest. I listened to her say to eitherr me or herself, I couldn't tell, _I love her like a daughter, and she could have been my __daughter..._

**Ahh. What do you think. It's longer! Hoped you enjoyed. So review! The button's right there press it! Can I get to 10 reviews. **


	3. Denali

Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven;t updated in a few days, I had a case of minor writer's block. Also, I was trying to decide whether or not to continue... Only like 5 people have asked me to update. Oh well, here you are five people. Major props to bellard, naruhina1127, Angel of Sinne, Lenzie, 0.oMrs.JasperHale0.o, especially to those who subscribed. Yay. I know you're probably getting tired of my rambling, so here goes... P.S. I am making this up as I go along, so I'm open for suggestions, and thank you, bellard (Megan), for agreeing to be my beta. So without further ado... Chapter 3. Oh yeah, I don;t own _Twilight_, or any characters thereof. That's my last disclaimer, so yeah... And a trustworthy friend pointed out the flaw in my story. I'd forgotten that the family had already left when Edward broke up with her, it slipped my mind. But this is a FanFiction, so does it matter?? R&R**

Our plane touched down in Denali. We had agreed upon staying with the Denali clan, they were like family to us. The only reason we didn't live with them is because they didn't follow our way of life, they weren't "vegetarians" like us, meaning they killed humans for the scrumptious, ruddy liquid you call blood. Although I always fight temptation whenever I smell it. The smell is absolutely indescribable! It's so sweet, so serene. I remember _her_ scent. Oh, my God! I find it ironic that the person with the sweetest blood is the one person that I would never do that to.

I knew it would take me years to get over her, wait, no. I would never get over her! She was the love of my life. Or, I should say, the love of my _existence_, as I would never die, at least not until she did...

"Edward, are you okay?" my neighbor in the next seat, Jasper, asked.

"Yeah," I lied, "I'm fine, never been better."

He knew that was a lie, he knew I was happiest when I was with her. Wait, actually, I was happy for the first time when I was with her. Every second away from her was pure torture!

"We gotta get going, they don't wait for anybody, you know. They're waiting for us to go hunting, for bears, of course, with them," he said.

Of course Jasper knew how I was really feeling, he could always tell, it was his gift.

_It'll be okay. Alice will get over it, eventually. Just hang in there," _he reminded me through his thoughts.

Goodness, he thought I was worried about Alice of all people. I could give damn what Alice was feeling. The only person I was worried about was Bella. But now that I'm gone, I don't have to worry, she would be better now. It still hurt to think about her, but, at last, inevitable. How could I not think about her, she was my everything.

We were approaching the house when I heard a familiar voice, "Edward! OMG (**sorry for the AIM talk)**, you came! I can't believe I get to see you again!" Tanya was obviously excite to see me. Her thoughts startled me though, _I finally get a chance with Edward after all these years! _

Little did she know, she didn't have a chance. I preferred brunettes, Bella was a brunette...

"I'll show you to our room," she said anxiously. Our room? What? She was trying very hard... I felt kind of bad.

"Sorry for having to shack up with me," she joked, "We only have a few rooms, and we get the last room, because we're the lone rangers. He He."

I felt like slapping her! Of course, I couldn't lose mt temper with her, she didn't know. How could she be ware that I just lost the love of my existence.

_Oh no,_ I heard her think, _did I hurt his feelings?_

_"_Yes," I answered subtly, and walked off.

The bright aide was the I really didn't need to sleep, so I really didn't need to share a room with Tanya. I could use it as a storage closet for all my crap I had to bring. I really didn't want to stay here, but I didn't have a choice.

The next morning, Carlisle came into the main room.

"Guys, tonight we'll be leaving tonight we'll be for england. It's getting full around here."

Thank, God! It sucks here! Tanya is driving me insane... She thinks she has a chance...

We were leaving for the airport in twenty-five minutes, when Tanya came up to me, _Okay, here goes...,"_ she thought.

"Edward, I think you're great. I was wondering if... maybe... um... we could take our relationship to the next level," she said as she bit her lip,

"Sorry," I began. I saw the melancholy written on her face. "I just don't think we're right for each other. Just hang in there, it'll come."

It seemed to cheer her up. "And for you," she said. I replied, "It already has, that's why I left. I have to go."

I walked towards the Volvo, but I wasn't going to England. I had unfinished business tgo take care of...

**Ohh, a cliffie. Can anyone guess what the "unfinished business" is? If you read _New Moon_, you'll figure it out... Unless, you know, I'm thinking about not continuing the story, I'm not getting much feedback. BTW Sorry it's so short, minor writer's block.**


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